The oomph has been in short supply recently. I think I'm going to die soon... certainly feels like it. ;) I'm sure that long-term lack of sleep can be fatal. It's already killing my vitality.
The "Making It Eight" project (hours of sleep) hasn't exactly been working, predominantly because by the time I finally manage to fall asleep, there are too few hours left in the night. I have some sleeping pills from the doctor, which have done wonders in the past, but are having no effect presently. What astounds me is the fact that I can have several bad nights of sleep in a row, no matter how tired I am. It would make sense to crash early on the evening following a 3-hours-of-sleep-night, but no.
I am ready to sacrifice goats and cattle, burn incenses, offer the fruit of the earth, pour water and wine and do whatever else it takes to appease - and hopefully gain the goodwill - of the good of sleep. The trouble is, I don't know where to find the altar.
The above paragraph is with tongue in check, obviously. :) In all seriousness though, I am exhausted and getting desperate because this bad sleep business is severely eating into my productivity and efficiency. A while back I had thought that the bags under my eyes couldn't possibly get any bigger or darker. Guess how wrong I was.
Exercise has been crap, eating has been crap, and I don't even want to go anywhere near a scale. A good workout would do me good and might help with fixing this state of things, but I've been too low on energy. I will persist, however. I want my oomph back.
Overall, it's no wonder that everything has been rather bleak. My performance at work has been awful, to the extent that I decided to preempt my supervisor and head to her office before she called me in herself. Not that she practices 'performance management' on us, but I figured I'd better let her know what is going on. Lo and behold, she thought I've been burning the midnight oils over my essays and assignments. I wish, I wish, I wish. My performance in this area hasn't been any better than at work, and this has to change very soon because the deadlines will soon start strangling me.
My outlook and joy of life have not been faring any better, and I strongly believe that this area might hold the magic key to all others. I feel crap, and I look crap. Hard to feel otherwise when not getting enough sleep. On the other hand, if I feel crap 'in myself', I will not project anything else to the world. The 'in myself' crap-ness might be easier to remedy than the exhaustion. In that vein, I have resolved upon a return to an old technique of mine. Hopefully it will help me speed up the exit journey from the Land of Little Oomph. Stay tuned! :)
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